The Illusion Rachel
by Ash9
Summary: Tobias has been dragged away by the Hork-Bajir. Rachel is frozen in fly morph on the ground...what will she do? Book 33 told from Rachel's POV, the second half of a story begun by SD.


This is a continuation of a story previously written by S.D., which she graciously agreed to let me finish! It was her idea to take book 33, _The Illusion _and try telling it from a different character's point of view. In this case, Rachel's, which so desperately needed to be told. Yes, Tobias went through hell, but things weren't so easy on the other end of the story, either. So, prepare yourself, this is not an easy read. Not at all.

To recap: Go to this link to read S.D.'s first part, which I highly recommend: 

or skip on if you know the story well enough. 

"A test of will may lead to wisdom; a loss of will breeds but defeat."

-Ax_, The Illusio_n

From Chapter Twelve...

Tobias, what's going on? I asked. Why aren't we moving? Put up a fight! Let 'em know you don't want to be here. I was keyed up, ready to get things done. Come on, play the part, I urged him.

I heard Tobias let out a shrill cry, one that would send chills down any human spine. He surged up into the air and flew at one of the nearby Hork-Bajir. He raked the monster's face and turned quickly, barely avoiding the slicing blades. I hung on tightly as Tobias put up a fight. Suddenly, there was a jolt and Tobias yelled.

What? I asked worriedly as we hit the ground.

We're down. I … He didn't finish.

"Didn't think we'd be waiting for you, did you, Andalite?" The sub-visser asked. "Well, here we are. Surprised? I hope so. I love surprises, don't you?" Chapman laughed and the girl continued. "Did I forget to introduce myself? So sorry. I'm Sub-Visser Fifty-one. Second in command to Visser Three in this part of space. Call me Taylor."

"Her host name," Chapman explained.

"Shut up, Chapman!" Taylor ordered. Then she spoke to Tobias, "Nothing to say? Speechless? Come on, I've always wanted to talk to an Andalite. Trade banter with the high-and-mighty self-appointed lords of the galaxy. Do you think that by staying silent I'll somehow be convinced you're an actual bird?" She laughed. "No, no, friend Andalite. We've seen the red-tailed hawk before, haven't we? I said, haven't we, Chapman?"

"Yes, Sub-visser!"

I have nothing to say. I am a prisoner of war. Tobias said, playing the part of an Andalite warrior.

"Oh good, it does speak," Taylor enthused.

Tobias began morphing. I could see his tail growing, turning blue. As the blade emerged, there was a strange hissing sound from above. Then an explosion. My skin felt like it was on fire.

Ahhh! Tobias yelled.

Ohhh! I echoed his pain.

The pain began to fade and was replaced with…nothing. I was numb. I couldn't move. I panicked.

What's going on? I demanded Tobias. I can't feel my legs. Or my wings. I can't move!

She shot us with a gas or something. She got Chapman, too. And a half dozen Hork-Bajir.

"Surprise!" Taylor laughed. "So sorry for you all. Looks like I'm the only one who remembered to take the antidote in advance. Oh, wait. Did I forget to tell you all?" Her tone changed suddenly. "Gather up these fools. And pick up the Andalite filth, too. We have a special place all picked out for him."

I felt Tobias shifting underneath me, I willed myself to hold on, but my legs were useless.

Tobias! I'm losing my grip! I can't hold on!

Rachel! Try to demorph! He sounded terrified. Now! Do it!

I can't, they'd see me. There was no way out. I couldn't move, couldn't morph.

You want to be trapped as a fly? Forget the mission! Rachel! His fear went straight to my heart. I was overwhelmed by his emotion and my own.

Tobias! I'm slipping off your feathers! I'm falling! I would have started crying if I wasn't a fly. I hit the floor and lay there, sobbing within my head. How could we rescue Tobias if I was stuck as a paralyzed fly on the floor?

I heard Tobias as he was being carried away, 

Rachel! Rachel! Demorph! If you can hear, oh God, demorph!

To be continued...

****

Chapter Thirteen 

I tried to move. Nothing. Nothing moved-- my legs, my wings...nothing! The vibrations were getting further away. Where were they taking him? I knew where. To some place to use the AMR on him, then torture him when it didn't work. 

No! Tobias!

I strained. Nothing. Not one twitch of my stupid, useless stick fly legs. My anger crumbled into helpless sobs. I was supposed to be _with_ him! I was supposed to lead the others to him, to _save_ him! 

Wait-- 

Jake? Oh, Jake, please! PLEASE answer me! Silence. Cassie! Marco! AX! More silence. They were too far away! I strained again. Nothing moved. 

JAKE! Nothing. 

Tobias? Nothing. No answer. He was gone. Where had they taken him? Flashes of him strapped down, screaming in pain-- 

No! I was supposed to be with him! I was supposed to lead the others to him. I had failed! I failed Tobias! I think I started crying again. I couldn't _do _anything. Move my wings. Move my legs. Frozen. 

It was sometime after that when I first heard them.

Vibrations, close by. Voices. I concentrated hard. Luckily, they were moving closer.

"Of course we wait for Visser Three's approval, idiot. Getting on his bad side is _not _one of the ways to get promoted. Capturing an Andalite and torturing them for information...now that's a different story." Taylor? Still here? "I'll have him begging for death before I'm done. I'll get every piece of information he knows, the names of the bandits and where they hide. Then I'll drag them in and kill every single one in front of him--"

A softer voice mumbled words before she raised her voice in answer.

"He's an Andalite. He gets on my nerves. Like they all do. So honor-bound, so ridiculously proud. As though being blue and a quadroped was something to be proud of."

Vibrations coming...pounding closer. A whoosh of air teased my wings. They still did not move on their own. 

Feet stepped all around me, over me...one on the tip of my wing. Then they stopped. I was looking at the tail section of what looked to be a very large, very leathery green monster. Only the knobby skin at the ankles of the Hork-Bajir was in focus. Their words were broken up, blocked by bodies. I grew frustrated at the length of the conversation. Taylor's voice rang out louder than theirs, but I still dropped a few words here and there. The gist was that Visser Three was on the way. To Tobias.

Okay, that's my cue. Feet pounded away, beside me, over me, around me. Missed me. Makes sense because someone up there owes me _big time _by now. I fired up my wings-- 

Okay. They didn't exactly fire. Actually, they didn't move at all. I took a deep breath, remained calm and tried my legs. Nothing. A string of obscenities flooded my mind. Hysteria was just below the surface. Tears close behind.

Okay, new goal? Remain sane while trying to rescue Tobias. 

Clear-ringing footsteps approached and the smell of cloying perfume wafted over me. In human form, I probably would have been able to tell you the designer, the fragrance and whether or not that Taylor witch should be wearing it. But to a fly, it smelled rotten. Perfect. She probably looked as bad as she smelled-- fat, frumpy, ten years out of style with jet-black, half-successfully dyed hair. Oh, and fake hypo-allergenic jewelry. Her Yeerk was probably pissed to be so tacky and ugly. 

If I could have flown, I would have landed on her face, thrown up and started chewing off the end of her nose. And if I'd had time, I would have demorphed, remorphed and surgically removed her heart with my claws.

_If. _

But she was already out of the room. I felt the same disturbance in the air flow, followed by distant vibrations that disappeared. Completely. In the direction of Tobias, who she wanted to hurt until he begged for death...

Oh, I wanted to kill. I wanted to maim. The hate, the rage boiled in me, inside my frozen body. Tobias was...Tobias. He was what had kept me sane. And now she was... 

NO! But what could I do to stop it, to help Tobias? _NOTHING! _Why? Why Tobias? Did it have to be him? He trusted me. It's my fault. If they touch him, I'll kill them! 

Guilt. Anger. Grief. Rage. 

And-- I couldn't...think. I couldn't move...what..._what now?_

Floor routine, my stressed mind tossed out. 

Oh. Right. 

See, in gymnastics, practicing in your mind is just as important as practicing with your body. Keeps out mental mistakes. 

I put myself through my paces:

__

Stretch out on the floor, back arched, one arm out and the other over head. Fingers graceful. Music begins. Fully extend arch, then down and back up into a walk-over. One pirouette, careful to balance over your foot. Hands out, slight hop to the side, a split jump down into left splits. One handed walkover, move into corner. 

I paused and tried my wings-- nothing. My legs-- nothing!

Back to floor routine. _Stand erect, slight hop and into a steady run. Eight steps into a round-off. Punch the landing. _

Legs-- nothing. I almost screamed in frustration. Had they started the AMR yet? Had it already killed Tobias?

Shut up, Rachel. Do the routine.

More. _Spring up, back arched, hands in tight. Spring off hands, flip fast. Up and over. Up and over. Punch the second landing and up for a back lay-out, no twist this time. Stick the landing. Don't forget to pose. _

Wings-- nothing!

More. _Music slows. 180 degree spin on right foot. Small hop. Big scissor kick. Forward roll into splits. Press up into handstand. SLOWLY. Hold it for five seconds. Two big steps into corner for second pass._

Legs-- nothing! 

Ah-- I stopped in mid-scream. No...wait-- was that a breeze, or did my wings just flicker? They did! 

Ha-HA! I'm not gonna' be a fly nothlit! I'm gonna' kick some Yeerk butt! 

But one wing flickering did not exactly make for good flying. I still couldn't move.

__

Stand erect, slight hop and into a steady run. Run seven steps and spring into round-off...

My leg moved. A little jiggly movement. YES! Look out Taylor, you pasty-faced, dumpy hag! Oh, they were going to regret this. That witch was going down and I was going to take her there. I'd follow her scent! YES! The perfumey smell that hung all around her would be easy to find, easy to follow. I'd find Tobias, and if he wasn't okay, I was going in there alone and getting him out. 

My wings flickered. 

YES! 

I pushed with my weak legs, righted myself and started buzzing. 

This mission is _so_ over! 

****

Chapter Fourteen

Up I buzzed, heedless of my still mostly numb legs that probably wouldn't make for a good landing. I headed in the direction Tobias had been taken. Metal doors. I flew down, down, down. Found a lip of air seeping under the doors. Crawled under. Flew up into a dim, open corridor, lit by what was probably tacky flourescent lighting. It all looked green to me. And empty. Empty of people, empty of noise...and empty of scents.

No. _No!_

I buzzed around desperately, trying to find a trail of any kind. None. The air system was good. Too good. I found only a few particles of Taylor's scent spread around. Not near enough to lead me to Tobias. I buzzed ahead blindly until the scent completely disappeared. Then I hovered indecisively, eyeing the long, blurry hallway. But I was only delaying the inevitable. I had to abandon him. 

Sorry, Tobias. I swear I'll come back? Ugh. That questioning tone. Nice Rachel breaking through. Tobias made me feel that way sometimes. Toughen up, Rachel. I'll come back. And Taylor will die. 

Not that he could hear me. Any questions as to which Rachel had control now?

Back under the door, already working on the new problem. There was no way out of the building without someone to hide on. If I tried to pass through the Gleet Biofilter by myself, I'd get fried. And Tobias...

A noise. I lost altitude as my wings sputtered. I recovered. Turned. Ahead was a darker smudge in the bright green landscape. A tall, thin kind of smudge. A Human-Controller? Who would be standing there, waiting like an idiot while everyone else was running around kissing up to the Visser or getting ready to torture Tobias? 

I spun closer, a bit crazily in the updraft of the air conditioner. I got close enough to see that it _was _a human, facing away. The smell was...sweat and mustard. And dog poop. The fly liked that one. Then vibrations started. I veered toward the wall just as the human in front of me turned to look. A voice spoke from far away, too deep and blurry to understand, from a tall patch of green. Hork-Bajir.

"Ah yes, of course. I will get right on it." The vibrations of footsteps went back down the hall. Should I follow? Was he going to Tobias? This complex was huge. He could be going anywhere. And if I got lost... I buzzed my wings in agony.

The human was still talking fast and furiously, his active sweat glands pumping out interesting smells. "Well, she got what she wanted, didn't she? A nice distraction for her. Or should I say, for them both. Never can tell who's in charge with that one. Yeerk or human. Imagine me, cowering insipidly before a schoolgirl who looks like her highest aspirations would be landing a cover on an Earth publication...Vogue or some such nonsense. The human ideal of beauty is strange. No matter. I will reign in his sniveling and return to my fellow Sharing members, as directed. I'm sure Taylor will be distracted enjoying her prize." 

It was Chapman. Still inside, cowering like an idiot, too scared to leave unless Taylor gave him the go ahead. I despised this Yeerk. But I wasn't stupid enough to miss out on my only escape route to the others. I landed as quietly as I could on his collar and crawled under while he swatted absently at the air, still denouncing Taylor's authority bitterly.

Whatever. Just get outside, idiot! I kept that private, of course.

He went through the biofilter and into the darker air, through the plastic liner and finally out through the tunnel into the night, still bright with spotlights. After the tomb-like silence of the corridor, the dull roar around me hit me like a slap in the face. 

Jake? I ventured.

Rachel! Where are you? Relief.

Under Chapman's collar. Where are you?

In the oak tree to your left. I'm in owl morph.

Help me find you. I buzzed away from Chapman and headed left. Why are you in bird morph? I asked though I couldn't exactly remember what the plans were supposed to be.

Rachel, you okay? We were getting worried! Cassie.

I'm fine.

You cut it pretty close, cuz. You've been almost two hours in morph. I can see you now. Just start elevating gradually. Head for the white blur in the oak tree. Almost two hours in morph? How long had I been frozen?

So...seen any red-tailed hawks lately? A punch in the gut. Marco, of course. I suddenly couldn't breathe. I couldn't tell them.

Rach? How is Tobias?

Just ahead, the white blur in the shadows came into focus. Rachel, I'm going to drop down and come at you. Grab a hold and we'll blow this joint, okay? We've got to get you somewhere to demorph safely. Good as his word, Jake flew at me and I was enveloped by soft feathers. It felt exactly like Tobias. 

Suddenly Chapman's words came back to me: 

__

"Well, she got what she wanted, didn't she? A nice distraction for her. Or should I say, for them both."

And I knew what he had been told by that Hork-Bajir.

__

The AMR. It didn't work. 

As planned. And Tobias wasn't injured by the ray? Jake was flapping effortlessly in the night air.

Um...I don't think so. _A nice distraction? _Oh god. They would be torturing him by now. As in right now. Oh god. I was going to be sick.

Rach, it's going to be okay. We'll get him out. I'm sure Cassie meant to be comforting; it just made me mad.

And how are we supposed to do _that _when we don't even know where he is? I heaved in breaths, never quite getting enough air. A few silent seconds went by that felt like eternity.

WHAT? 

What's that supposed to mean, Cassie asked as she finished morphing. She didn't get it.

Rachel, was there an unforseen outcome to the plan? Ax asked with a tense voice. No one got it. Only Jake was quiet as we swooped in for a landing on a low tree. The others were morphing to human, I think. I dropped out from Jake's feathers and started to demorph. 

Rachel, where is Tobias? Jake's question was low and even. Controlled. By the time I answered, I was a large black insectoid with human hair and fingers and toes on the end of stick legs. Guilt and rage swarmed me. My response was off the charts.

I don't know! I fell off when they took him away! I half-sobbed.

"Oh no," Cassie breathed with a catch in her voice.

This is unfortunate. This is very unfortunate, Ax whispered. I brushed away tears that flooded my eyes as soon as they went human. 

Okay, so let me get this straight, Marco started in, still a jumble of osprey and human. You were in fly morph, which is like having a super glue dispenser attached to your feet and your only job was to stick to your boyfriend like his life depended on it because, okay, well, it _did_. And you _FELL OFF?_

My rage found a target. I lunged, but someone held me back. "You wanna' piece of me, Marco? Just give me a reason!" I couldn't get free of Jake. I was crying. "I have just spent almost an hour trying to get a crappy, paralyzed fly body up off the floor to go after the Yeerk who sprayed us with some freezing spray and had Tobias dragged away to be tortured! I was paralyzed, okay? I couldn't hang on! And this witch, this Taylor, actually gets off on the idea of torturing an Andalite bandit. She was bragging about it. And Tobias was partly morphed, with this half-formed blue tail sticking out back and he got frozen. I couldn't hold on. I tried so hard. And he was yelling at me, telling me to demorph. But I couldn't. I couldn't move at all. I couldn't do anything."  
"He was yelling at you?" Cassie asked quietly. Jake released me.

"He thought I was going to get stuck in fly morph. Get that. He was being dragged away to be experimented and tortured and all he could think about was..."

"You," Cassie whispered.

Everyone was morphed human now. We all just stood there. I wiped at the tears on my cheeks. The emotion drained away. I felt stronger, here with them. My friends. I turned to Jake and glared at him. "So, what's the plan? How do we get him out?" 

"Everyone morph bird. Let's fly to the barn, then I'll fill you in." 

Jake couldn't bluff me. I morphed owl knowing perfectly well that he didn't have a plan. But he would. He was Jake.

So we flew, bunched together, forgetting everything Tobias ever told us about flying. It was nighttime and I was the only one who could see, the only one who could warn the others of impending hunters. But, hey, what predator is going to attack a smaller bird flying in a group that includes an owl? I was a killer. I was in control.

I watched the landscape change below, watched small people going about their lives, tried to forget Tobias desperately trying to live his. Felt guilty. Tried to remember him as he was. Is. 

He is a warrior, Rachel. He was prepared, Ax reminded me mid-flight. I wasn't sure what he meant, but it helped. Tobias was Elfangor's son. Maybe that would help him somehow...

I flew ahead of the others as we reached the barn, taking over Tobias' role. I circled over the barn and called to the others. It's safe. Cassie, your parents are playing Parcheesi. Your Dad is cheating.

Oh, good grief, if I'm not there to catch him...

They landed through the loft as Tobias always had, silently. I had to swoop down in through the open doors. Too big. We morphed and sat in our usual places. I tried not to look at the loft. He wouldn't be there. 

"So, oh fearless leader, what diabolical insanity have you dreamed up for us tonight," Marco said lightly.

Jake glanced once at me, then started in. 

"The only way to find Tobias is to let another one of the Andalite bandits be captured. The chances are excellent that they will take the new captive directly to Tobias for the same treatment, or to be used against Tobias."

I jumped up. "I'm in. It has to be me, Jake."

"No," he shook his head. "We can't risk losing anyone else."

"We haven't lost Tobias yet," I said in a brittle voice.

Jake looked at me. "Of course not. Cassie, how good of a chance do your parents give that eagle to live?"

Cassie's face clouded. "She's dying. We're really just trying to make her comfortable right now." 

"Okay, then. She's our Andalite bandit." I frowned. 

Marco crowed. "Brilliant." 

I was obviously missing something. "How will she be one of us?"

Jake smiled a dangerous smile. "It's the other way around. One of us will become her."

****

Chapter Fifteen

Okay, could this plan possibly go any slower, I groused from where I clung unhappily to the eagle, which just happened to be the third bird I'd clung to in fly morph in under three hours. 

Of course it could. Ax, just for variety's sake, tell us how many of _your_ minutes have we been here? Marco. With sarcasm.

That doesn't help, guys, Cassie said tensely. It had taken us almost half an hour to get the eagle here, get everyone morphed and get ready. As Tobias would say, with that vocabulary of his, interminable.

Cassie is getting ready to do something that takes split second timing. Jake spoke up. Could we all just chill? 

Sure. We'll chill. We'll all chill. And Tobias will...

Prince Jake?

Yes.

Tobias has now been held for two hours.

I am aware of that. In the brooding silence, I gathered there was something going unsaid.

So? It's not like he'll get stuck in morph. Ax didn't reply. What were they trying to do, protect me? Ax! What is it?

They will think that Tobias is a nothlit now. Their tactics will change. Until now, I believe that they would be trying to force Tobias to demorph. If he remained uncooperative--

Which he did. I affirmed.

We hope. And pray. And beg. Marco added.

Shut up, Marco!  
What? He's being tortured. Pain is very convincing, we all know that. And by the way, I've been good and not mentioned it so far, but has it escaped everyone else that if he did give in and morph, he would be infested and we're all so much dead meat?

He would kill himself first, Ax said stiffly. 

What if they don't let him? Marco countered.

You guys... Cassie whined softly.

It doesn't matter anyway, because he's _not_ going to give in. I insisted.

And how do you know that? 

Tobias is a warrior, Ax said proudly.

He's a kid in pain, Marco said flatly. 

Everyone was silent. I was glowering. My wings were jittering. How could they even think Tobias would rat? They had no idea how brave he was!

I'm sure he's doing his best. Jake supplied in his best grown-up voice.

Right. Whatever. He's a nothlit in their books, by now, anyway. That danger has come and gone.

Yeah! Now they'll just be torturing him to get our names and addresses! _So_ much better that way.

I squeezed all my eyes closed, trying to keep the images of Tobias being tortured from taking hold. Shut up, Marco!

Everyone shut up! Cassie's voice rang with authority. I can see two Controllers close enough to the woods, and they have weapons, I think.

You have to be sure, Cassie. Look again.

Their coats are covering them. But...yeah, one just scratched his...well, you know, and I think I saw his weapon.

Marco cackled and wisely did not crack whatever off-color joke he'd just thought of. Jake sounded embarrassed when he finally spoke.

Good. Fly toward them and flare your wings to get their attention. As soon as they come after you, hightail it out of there and head for the tree.

Gotcha. I'm goin' in. A moment later, we heard a quiet whisper. _This one's for you, Tobias_.

I buzzed noisily on the eagle, sure that it wouldn't notice. Cassie had it doped up on morphine, mostly for the pain it was already in, but partly for the pain this plan was sure to cause it. I think she felt bad. 

I didn't. I think the whole reason this eagle existed was to save Tobias. What higher purpose could there have been?

Thanks, old girl, I told her privately. She was, after all, a sort of sister of mine. She didn't move. Her heartbeat was still sluggish, not like Tobias' at all--

I cut my thoughts off savagely. Why was every single thought somehow an avenue to thinking about Tobias? I was going to drive myself insane!

They see me. I think I'll just get a little closer--  
No, Cassie. Jake in full-out command mode. Flare your wings. They'll know you're one of us when you wheel around in mid-air for no reason.

Okay. Flaring away. Oh, big updraft! I just rocketed up ten feet! Wow!

The Controllers, Cassie. What are they doing?

Oh, yeah, they're...heading this way. Whoa! They're shooting already!

Take off!

Go, Cassie! I had to yell.

Prince Jake, why are they shooting so close to where humans are gathered?

Visser Three must have some serious incentives on this one.

Oh yeah, you know it! 'Catch an Andalite and get a new car,' or knowing him, 'whatever Taxxon happens to be behind door number three!'

Cassie, where are you?

I'm on my way. They haven't even hit anywhere-- whoa! That was closer.

Are you near the tree? I could hear the concern beneath Jake's flat tone.

Not yet. I'm still a good fifty yards away.

Fifty yards? 

Marco piped up. Tell me again why we chose a tree so far away that Michael Jordan would have to catch a bus to make it here in time. 

Ditto.

Because the Controllers needed to be far enough away for them to see her, but not get to her before she can morph.

Oh, right. So Cassie--

Ahhhhh!

Cassie! Cassie? Jake and I screamed.

It's...it's okay. I can still fly. It's just...slowing me down.

Jake, she's in pain. And I couldn't do anything! Helpless again!

I can tell that, he snapped out. Are you going to need help?

No...I can do it. I'm here. With a wild fluttering noise, she landed beside us where we were on the other identical, but injured, eagle. I'm pushing. Ugh. She didn't seem this heavy when I was human.

Everybody-- lean! Marco yelled insanely. Throw your weight to the left and tip the birdie!

Good grief, Jake muttered. We could feel the eagle shifting on the branch, but she wasn't falling yet. 

She's grasping with her talons-- hard! Cassie sounded frustrated.

I tried to picture Tobias, as a hawk. What would he do? Use your beak and pull her talons off the branch! Hurry, Cassie! You still have to morph! She didn't answer. Probably too busy pecking and pulling. Finally, we felt the bird begin to topple. 

Wait a minute, did anybody figure out how we control this-- Aaaahhhhhhh! Marco, the wienie, screamed all the way down. 

Use your wings to balance. Geez! I might have clutched a little tighter myself, but come on! 

We hit the ground with a thump, everyone ending up on top. Jake was right back in charge. 

Morph, Cassie.

On it.

Think human, Cassie, think of looking at yourself in the mirror at home... He took her through the paces, his voice urgent. They're coming, Cassie. Are you morphing fly yet? Of course she couldn't talk while human. The eagle was starting to flap clumsily, trying to right herself. I wondered if she'd been hurt very much in the fall. We'd already matted the feathers on her chest with blood from another injured animal. She would already look convincing without another injury. Voices were shouting. Suddenly, from above there was a great shadow and a thump right beside me. 

Cassie?

Yes! I made it! Of course, she was still shrinking, but her fly parts were all in place. And the men hadn't seen her. That was incredible, Cassie. Jake, of course.

Thanks. I could hear her blushing.

Girl, you are so _fly_, Marco cracked himself up.

Ugh.

At least he's doing his job.

I fail to see the humor in the situation. She is a fly. Why is that humorous?

Because calling someone "fly" is like saying they're cool.

Oh. I see. But Ax didn't, which, for some reason made me giggle.

Okay. Wait. Back up. Is Rachel...giggling? I stopped. Okay, someone stop the mission now, we're doomed. I mean, Ax never gets jokes, Cassie never meets an animal she doesn't like, and Rachel doesn't giggle. These are scientific laws that govern our universe. If one of them is broken, it'll be chaos.

Well, interestingly enough, Ax began. The chaos theory that exists here on Earth is not quite sound, but it is a good beginning point for an important universal theorem.

Marco groaned. Not physics. No, please. I'm trying to lighten the mood here, Ax, and you're killing me. You really are.

From high above us, voices filtered down.

"Andalite filth, we have you now. Speak to your betters. What do you have to say?" The eagle was grabbed and held. It only struggled a little.

Cue Ax. Jake said quickly. Ax was in flea morph and would not be able to hear.

I do not speak to Yeerks. Ax spat the word out as though it tasted repugnant. I am a warrior--  
"You're a captive of Yeerk twenty-nine-four-six."

"And Yeerk fifteen-forty-three! You are going straight to Visser Three."

Good job, Ax, Jake spoke privately. Now, we wait.

****

Chapter Sixteen

The Yeerks didn't take us back to the community center. Obviously, there were too many people around who might ask questions about an injured, captured eagle, as we expected. Instead, we were loaded into a truck and driven for fifteen minutes. A very, very long fifteen minutes. During part of it we wondered if Erek the Chee was doing his job and following us. Part of it we spent calculating that we had only slightly over one hour left in morph and that Tobias had been in there almost two and a half hours. Then, I privately told Cassie some more details about the time I spent alone in the Yeerk facility, skimming the worst parts. It hurt to tell. Eventually, I ended up going over my floor routine again. Too quiet. Everyone was thinking about Tobias and trying not to. 

Finally, they unloaded the eagle and went down through some kind of tunnel. We had no idea where we were. Apparently they had Yeerk Pool entrances that we didn't know about. 

Alright, Rachel. No more buzzing, Jake commanded.

Was I buzzing? I stilled my wings in surprise. 

This entrance was a more simple one. Only one beeping entrance code in and we were through the filter. 

I wish we'd had more warning. Some more time to get ready. Something. All I know is, I wasn't ready. Not for that.

As soon as we entered the building we heard him. 

Ahhh!

Tobias. 

Screaming. 

Thought-speak. 

Close. 

I rode the wave of agony with him, praying for it to end. I thought I would go out of my mind. What were they doing to him? Oh my god...

Not a bad scream, all things considered. A 9.5.

Marco, Jake muttered.

I'd give it a ten, but I can't dance to it.

Shut up, Marco!

Hey, I'm not the one screaming. 

Yeah and you're peeing in your pants you're so glad! 

Tobias finally stopped.

I breathed.

Hey, so what's a little wet underwear? Anything's better than _that. _Hey, what the... 

I froze. Tobias was laughing...uncontrolled, hysterical laughing, like I'd never heard from him before.

Oh great, so we're risking our lives out here while birdboy is watching a Three Stooges movie? 

Yeerks! Ax spat out. They have no respect.

Yeah, it's terrible. Marco went on. Everyone was ignoring him, which just made him talk more. They must be making him watch one with the new Curly in it, that Shem weirdo. That would explain the screaming. 

The laughter was unnerving...horrifying to listen to...

Ax, do you understand this? 

Yes. He said tensely. Pain inevitably dulls the senses. Because of this, extreme torture is only truly effective in short amounts of time. To counteract this, the Yeerks must be using their technology to directly stimulate the part of Tobias' brain that is responsible for pleasurable feelings. It is a method they have...obviously perfected since I last...read about it. Tobias had gotten quiet again. Everyone tensed. 

Ahhh! Another scream. A wild, abandoned scream, fragmented by breathless grunting.

No...no, no, no, no, no. Cassie was trying to shut it out.

Dad, are we there yet? Marco, hyper.

So they're using it to break him faster?

It would appear so.

Tobias started laughing his mad, unrecognizable laugh again. How long could he stand it? He couldn't...

Dad, are we there yet?

Okay, okay, guys. Jake was determined to stay in control. This is bad. But try to shut it out.

How? It's in stereo. I feel like I'm on the monorail to hell. Welcome to Dante's Inferno Tours. Marco assumed a falsetto tour guide voice. On your right, you'll see the plenteous corpses in Starvation World right outside the Decapitation Diner. Overhead, you'll hear the lost souls already enjoying the last stop on our tour, Tortureland!

Marco... Marco! MARCO! 

I know. I know. Shut up!

Stop! Tobias cried out, commanded! To whoever was doing this to him! I couldn't breathe. I wanted to cry. What were they doing to him? The flashes assaulted me--

Rachel!  
What!?

Stop buzzing. You'll get us caught and then where will Bird-boy be?

Another laugh. 

Stop. Stop it! I screamed. But only to the others. Somebody make them stop!

Five minutes, Rachel. Mentally, Jake was in my face. Five minutes or less and we're in there.

Do you think he's going to survive five more minutes of this?

Sudden silence. 

Tobias should be screaming. 

Laugh. Scream. Laugh. Scream. Right? What...?

What happened, Cassie asked timidly.

Stop. Tobias' voice faded out, so weak. I felt like I was standing beside him, watching him slip into unconsciousness. 

Deep breath. I'm going to kill them. Her. I said it quietly, flatly.

Now there's something to look forward to. Marco, but without sarcasm. 

Vibrations getting nearer. Someone was coming. A voice. 

"We have caught another of the Andalite bandits. I'm sure Visser Three won't mind being interrupted for this."

Marco snickered. He don't know our Visser vewy well, do he? 

The voice droned back an answer, hard to hear. 

Anyone catch that, Jake asked anxiously. 

Uh-uh.

No.

Prince Jake, I am unable to hear in flea morph.

The eagle was shifted. One of our Yeerks replied. "Fine then. We'll report to him there. And then we'll be back and I only hope the Visser understands why this was kept waiting." 

No-- we were turning around!

No! NO! 

Did someone pull the emergency brake, because this was supposed to be a non-stop ticket to Tortureland.

Jake, _why are we turning around? _

Visser Three isn't there right now. The Yeerks have to report in and then get orders. I'm sure the Visser will take us right back to Tobias.

The Visser's not there when an Andalite bandit is being tortured? Marco tsk-tsked. Where are his priorities? 

I couldn't stand it. We were going farther away from Tobias. 

Ahhhh! He was screaming again-- 

Tobias! I broadcast it this time.

No! Rachel, NO! Jake half-yelled over Tobias.

He needs to know we're here!

No! He can't know we're coming! If it slips out, we'll never get to him. No contacting Tobias.

I do not think Tobias is capable of receiving thought-speech right now.

Good guess, Kemosabe.

Everyone fell silent. Except Tobias. This scream was harsh, angry. And we were abandoning him. Why do you think Tobias is weak? He wouldn't let it slip, Jake. He's not stupid.

The scream was fading. We were taken through swinging doors and then-- silence. We were too far away! Cassie sighed. 

No! 

It's okay, Rachel. Five minutes, like I said and we'll be right back in there.  
Nobody's listening to him. He's screaming and nobody's listening! Nobody! I was babbling.

Right, Xena. We don't wanna' listen to him. _You_ don't wanna' listen to him. Do you?

YES! If he has to live through it, the least we can do is listen!  
No choice, cuz. Just relax. You're buzzing enough to call someone's attention. Stop.

I tried to relax. My wings stilled.

So...has anyone noticed the peculiar smell this bird has? Sort of a mix of toe jam and cream of broccoli soup. Marco spouted off. Very piquant, with just a touch of dill. Jake chuckled nervously, not sure he should be laughing. I think I heard Cassie smile. Nothing from Ax. How did he feel, knowing his shorm was being tortured? Probably a lot like me. 

It got quiet. Only the echoes of footfalls in the corridor around us. 

Okay, is anyone else getting the screaming willies?

Every time you talk, Marco, I whispered venomously.

****

Chapter Seventeen

Quiet again. Enveloped in the complete and total absence of screaming. But I was sure it was still going on. Inside, somewhere, I could almost feel the screams. And I was going to pay them back for every single one. For subjecting sweet, gentle Tobias to this kind of hell. Like he hasn't already been through enough! Rage filled me. I couldn't hold it in anymore.

Ahhh! I yelled, feeding the sound with every molecule of anger and frustration in me.

What? 

Oh, great. Now _she's _doing it!

I am going to rip that sub-Visser's head from her body and eat her heart out in front of her! 

Another silence, broken by Marco's sigh. Well, just an idea, but you might want to do the heart thing first, because it will be pretty hard for her to see you do it if you've already ripped her head off. Just a suggestion. Take it or leave it.

Rachel, pull yourself together. There's _nothing _we can do right now. Jake was tense. 

Rach, floor routine, Cassie said privately. It worked before.

Right. I shook my head in a very un-fly-like way and concentrated. 

__

Stretch out on the floor, back arched, one arm out and the other up over head. Fingers graceful. Music begins. Fully extend arch, then down and back up into a walk-over. One pirouette, careful to balance over-- 

We had stopped. Our Human-Controller was speaking. "And we thought that we should report first to you directly before--"

Of course you should, idiot! The Visser's voice boomed in our heads. Bring the Andalite warrior here. 

Could this guy be a radio announcer or what? Everyone ignored Marco. He just oozes charm and personality. 

Yeah, he's oozing something all right. I ground my mouth parts silently as we were taken forward. No buzzing. 

Ax, get ready, Jake warned privately.

Well, Andalite, at last we meet on somewhat even ground. Care to attack me now? 

Jake repeated the words for Ax.

Is there an echo in here? Marco whispered, completely out-of-control.

Ax replied haughtily. The Abomination will never be on even ground with an Andalite warrior!

Good one, Ax, I think. Marco said, rather subdued. I agreed. Ax just might get the eagle killed before we even reached Tobias.

We have captured one of your friends, but he has been rather uncooperative until now. The Sub-Visser in charge of getting information has been...enthused about the task, but the Andalite has been stronger than expected. Perhaps seeing his comrade fed to a hungry Taxxon will weaken him. What do you think?

A moment while Jake finished relaying the message. 

You are a fool to think that an Andalite would ever surrender. Ax barked out. He wasn't acting now. He has not morphed; he will not talk! He is a true warrior!

That remains to be seen, insolent filth. You have minutes to live. Say your warrior's rite and be done with it. One squad of Hork-Bajir, to me. Now!

The Yeerks turned and took us back out into the hallway. The vibrations were heavier, and were soon joined by more bodies. They were moving fast. 

Okay, this is the same hallway, guys. Get ready, Jake coached us.

Oh no... Cassie didn't want to hear Tobias again.

Tortureland, dead ahead. Pun intended. Please keep all wings and legs and probisci inside the feathers and wait until the ride comes to a complete stop before exiting. Thank you for riding Dead Duck Airlines.

We moved through the swinging doors again. 

I tensed. I heard-- nothing.

The silence scared me more than the screaming. 

Please be okay, Tobias, Cassie whispered. I couldn't say anything. Every molecule in my body was waiting. For a scream, for a laugh. _Something! _Adrenaline charged through me and I buzzed as we moved forward.

No, Rachel. Not yet.

When? Why is he so quiet?

One minute. We'll be close to where we were before, close to Tobias. And then we'll drift off one by one except Ax. We'll morph out of sight. And then Ax will let us in. And we'll attack. And then Tobias will be safe. Okay? Tobias will be fine. Just. Fine. I blinked my compound eyes. Then I wondered, why did it surprise me that Jake was starting to fall apart? 

Jake... Cassie must have said the rest in thought speak.

I waited about twenty more seconds, trying to control my nervous wings.

I'm off. I buzzed up off the eagle.

Drop low, Rachel, down the guy's pants where you won't be seen!

I know! I know! But I hadn't. I had almost flown up, right into sight of the Yeerks. Stupid! I dropped back down and crawled under to the eagle's belly. Then I buzzed my way off and down, dropping until I was inches off the floor. All around me, all above me-- vibrations. Legs...feet. Fly! Fly away! The instincts were good for this.

I flew, straight for the wall. Motion is more easily detected than stillness, especially in such a dimly-lit hallway. So I stuck.

I'm off. Jake said flatly.

I'm already on the wall. Cassie.

Me, too.

Hey, I think I've found a room to morph in. Nice and dark.  
Where?

Uh...follow the stale french fry smell. To your left.

Wait! No one move yet. The Hork-Bajir are still going by...okay. Now. Everyone go! Ax, you alright? I lifted off.

I am in flea morph. I am indestructible.

Yeah, as long as Visser Three's not wearing his flea collar.

I'll make the Andalite filth talk! Visser Three spat out venomously. My heart skipped a beat.

We are entering the room now. I will proceed as planned. I desperately wanted to be with Ax, now, ready to morph, ready to rage. I wanted to tear into--

I found the smell! Kind of greasy and...yummy, Cassie sounded euphoric. Oh yeah. The room. The smell. I buzzed around...

Found it. Ouch!

Rachel, go _under_ the door. 

Well, you could have told me! I buzzed down, down, down. Crawled under. What was Ax doing in there? He wouldn't be able to hear a thing, or see until he was out of morph. I should have gone with him!

This will make him talk, boomed the Visser. He was in there now. With Tobias. I wanted to rip his--

Rachel, Cassie, Marco, power morphs! Ax, what is Visser Three doing? Jake sounded pumped.

I hear nothing but the Visser and I see nothing but dim light. I am currently hopping around on the floor, endeavoring to locate the back wall. Stupid plan! Stupid! They could kill Tobias while we were just feet away! Oh. I think I found it.

I shook my head, halfway to human already. The grizzly bear was just below the surface, ready to come out and wreck the place. I'd teach them to mess with--

This eagle was found near the community center. How audacious and foolhardy of your friends, Andalite! For we have seen the bandits use this morph before! That was _me _the visser was talking about! 

"Tobias is going to think the eagle is me," I whispered aloud.

No, Rachel. He'll remember. He'll know. I looked over to see Jake morphing in the dim light. His human eyes looked desperate, fierce, especially over the long, dripping fly proboscis. He wasn't sure.

Tell me all you know. The visser threatened. Or I will feed your fellow Andalite to the Taxxons. Would Tobias speak? He thought it was me! He probably--

No, Tobias whispered, sounding weak and defeated. No, I...

"It's not me," I whispered, going grizzly. It's not me, Tobias!

Rachel... Jake warned.

Speak! Or he dies! Visser Three roared.

You'll get nothing from me, Yeerk. Tobias suddenly sounded steady, sure of himself. He had seen. He knew. I heaved a sigh of relief.

You dare defy me! You dare resist! Oh no. 

Okay, I'm there. Um...how do we get the door open? Cassie, already a wolf. 

Step aside, White Fang and let an animal with opposing thumbs show you how it's done.

NOW! The visser roared again. Now _what?_

Make sure it's clear first, Marco, Jake snapped.

So I should check the peephole?

What peephole? Jake and I were mostly morphed now.

Exactly my point. Marco swung a fist at the door. He punched two fingers through, then put one eye up to it. I smiled with my muzzle. Marco was feeling violent, too. He was just better at hiding it. 

I've made my own arrangements. The visser.

This is making me crazy, Cassie muttered. What is he talking about?

Whoa. Marco, from the door. Two Taxxons approaching.

Open the cage! The visser roared. I panicked. Tobias' cage? 

__

No! He roared. _This_ one will die! _That_ one will talk. Oh god, _which one???? _

Prince Jake, I wish to demorph.

No! Not yet. Not in full sight of Visser Three, Jake said swiftly.

Which one will die? I asked desperately. Ax, which one is he talking about?

I do not know, Rachel. I am sorry. I cannot demorph now, he said bitterly. 

I pushed past Marco at the door, but there was suddenly a tiger in my way. No, Rachel. Wait.

They could be killing him right now!

I don't think that's the plan! Just wait! I flexed my paws, getting ready to take out the tiger if I had to. Tobias was not--

Kill this one, too, the visser said flatly. But do it slowly. See if you can, at least, do this much well. Marco shoved back by me, taking his place at the door.

Prince Jake, I am demorphing.

I saw Jake wince and then shake his head. Tell me everything you see, as soon as you see it.

Visser's coming out, Marco barked.

And he missed seeing your hole in the door? Idiot. I vented.

I see Tobias... Ax said hesitantly. He is suspended in the air in a glass cage, with four spotlights trained on him.

Is he okay?

He has been harmed. He is standing. But I believe that is more a testament to the strength of his spirit than that of his condition.

Jake muttered a curse. Marco one-upped him. 

There are fifteen Hork-Bajir in the room in front of me and one Human-Controller that is aggressively taunting Tobias.

Taylor, I spat out.  
There is a door to the hallway on my right. I will shortly be able to open it for you. One other door leads to a balcony. Are you in morph?

Yes. We are ready. Move out. Jake ordered quietly. Marco, you go for the glass cage. Gently. You might need the grappling hook. Marco headed out of the room to find Erek, who was carrying (of course) only non-violent tools that we might need for the rescue. Everyone else, you're running interference and covering Marco and Tobias. We want in and out. This is not a revenge mission. I could have batted the glow out of those yellow eyes as they fixed right on me. Whatever. This battle was personal, no matter what Jake said. 

Ax, tell Tobias we're coming and that we're going to get him out of here.

I already have, Ax said quietly, embarrassed that he'd jumped orders. I suddenly realized that I could speak to Tobias. But-- I couldn't. Couldn't switch gears. I was primed to kill. Prince Jake, we must proceed quickly.

I lumbered into the hallway behind Cassie and Jake, a growl stuck in my throat.   
Taylor's voice rose shrilly through the door, until we could understand her sickening words. "I will tear your mind apart." She shrieked. I growled deep in my throat. Heard of a dead man walking? She was a dead woman talking. 

Let's do it, I growled, shifting on my clawed feet. I wanted to open my massive jaws and--

Let's do it, Marco echoed as he approached with a rope slung over his massive shoulder. He sounded, for once, like he was here for a reason.

There was the sound of a blade hitting bone, then the door opened. 

****

Chapter Eighteen

I charged forward, lumbering after Marco and Jake. Too slow! Even Cassie was in before me! I followed the retreating Hork-Bajir and bellowed in fury. Then I stopped. My eyes were drawn to the small figure suspended in the air, so brightly lit. I stopped breathing.

Yeah, bear eyesight is crap. And yeah, Tobias was in bird form. But I've been looking at him every day for almost two years now, and I know when he's okay. 

He was _not okay_.

His beak was shattered. His feathers were dull, matted, broken, scattered around the box. There was blood... He favored one wing. He swayed as I watched, and said nothing. I was shocked. For one second. Maybe two. I would never forget that moment as long as I lived.

Then rage half-blinded me. I looked away and saw nothing but targets. My roar split the air as I charged forward and smashed into the nearest Hork-Bajir. A Yeerk who had watched all of this happen to Tobias, probably cheering Taylor on. He would die! _She_ would die! The first was down. I slashed madly into the second, the third, craving blood like a true carnivore, glorying in the carnage. They were dead too soon. Too soon!

I turned to vent my bloodlust on another as Marco yelled in my head, bragging to Taylor about his great gorilla morph, with tools. His job was to get Tobias. Mine was to kill. Who next?

Taylor was screaming to the Hork-Bajir. Taylor...

Jake was telling Marco to climb. 

But I had found my next targets. Three Hork-Bajir too cowardly to obey Taylor's commands. They had run toward her instead of after Marco. Jake roared. But I was focused and it all became background noise. I loped on all fours and rose up to full height, slashing one to the ground and digging in to do more damage. The other two turned to face me, dracon beams outstretched.

The girl! Tobias yelled. 

What? I half-turned. The Hork-Bajir fired.

ROARrrrrrrrrrrr! 

I was mad! Each had hit a shoulder, burning a path through my flesh. I powered forward and knocked them into each other. They were down but jumped away too quickly for me to follow. I was panting. I saw Taylor running, with a device in her hand. Tobias wanted someone to stop her? I grinned inwardly. That would be _me. _

Rach! Behind you! I turned and swung a bloody paw, catching a Hork-Bajir in the stomach. He jerked spasmodically as I turned my claw, tearing his flesh mercilessly on the way out. He fell at my feet. Bled.

Cassie yipped and I turned to see Taylor jerking away from her.

Wahhhh! Marco yelled and I whipped around. He had grabbed a bunch of wires like a jungle vine, two Hork-Bajir after him. A Hork-Bajir slashed the wires and there was a blue flash of light. He fell to the floor, dead. Nine left. Marco reached the cube and landed on top. Tobias was flung against the glass as it swung wildly. 

I growled.

Sorry, man! Marco yelled as he wrapped a giant hand around the steel cable that suspended the cube. But there's a time for delicacy and this ain't it! He was trying to disconnect the cage. Why didn't he just break it? Another Hork-Bajir was closing in, joining the other, using the rafters as tree limbs. I walked under them, a permanent growl taking shape as they stayed too high above for me to touch. 

They leaped and landed on the cube.

Ahhhh! Marco scrabbled to find his balance. Tobias flared his damaged wings, attempting to stand as the cube bobbed out of control. One Hork-Bajir went flying off and landed on his own tail blade. I stood over him as he died. He didn't need any help.

Ahhhhhhh! Marco. I swung around to see the Hork-Bajir using Marco's back as an anchor. Marco was still trying to unfasten the cage. It wasn't working. The Hork-Bajir was stabbing at him again and again. Blood was flowing.

Marco! Forget me! Tobias was frantic.Just free yourself. He's killing you! I kept growling. Tobias was so ridiculously selfless! If Marco stopped now, I would kill him myself.

No, Marco gasped, still working. Good. If I could be up there, I would. In a heartbeat.

Finally, a roar of pain from the side caught my attention. Two Hork-Bajir had Jake trapped against the wall. I looked up once, then turned away, knowing I could do nothing to help. I lumbered over to Jake.

ROARrrrrrr! The Hork-Bajir turned and Jake launched himself on one. I took the other, avoiding his swinging claws as best I could and then--

Marco! Cassie screamed. 

Marco! Tobias screamed.

I couldn't turn. I tackled the Hork-Bajir, feeling his wrist blades penetrate my back. Pain! But from close up, I could do a lot more damage than he could. I bit. I crushed. I dug my claws deep into his back until he slowly released his blades. 

TSEEW! A Dracon beam! A loud report and a strange silence...

No, Jake whispered beside me.

KABLAMMMM!!

"Ghalaaaa!"

Yeeaaaaahhhhh!

Screaming. But not Tobias. Glass pelted my back. I threw the dead weight of the Hork-Bajir away from me and turned. Marco was hanging from a red-hot wire.

Hraaaaahhh! He bellowed and then he dropped. On to the glass. Bellowed again. 

Where was Tobias? Buried. Under the Hork-Bajir. I lumbered forward. She ran by me. Taylor! I reached out a claw but a Hork-Bajir was suddenly there, swinging a claw at me. It connected with my arm. Cut deep. 

I roared in pain and frustration. Where had this one come from? I slashed furiously, knowing my claws would eventually do more damage. I couldn't think strategy right now. Taylor was going to get Tobias! If he was even still alive!

I could see Ax and Jake, backed to the wall, facing the five remaining Hork-Bajir. My Hork-Bajir slumped against me. I stopped to take a breath. Let him slide to the floor. The pain was starting to get to me. Blood dripped from my paws. I was weak. I blinked as things started to waver. A whiteness slid across my vision, even as I watched Cassie jump up on a table to launch herself at the Hork-Bajir. All the noises faded. 

Where was Tobias?

Rachel! Rachel!!! I shook my head. Who was that?

Marco?

I can't get to him! She's going to kill him! And I can't-- I can't--

I looked over to see a huge gorilla collapsed on the floor. His eyes were focused past me. I slowly turned and saw Tobias... 

Ahhhh! 

Taylor had struck him with the metal device in her hand. Then again. Tobias was helpless, crushed to the floor. Taylor grabbed at him, was dragging him out, through the door. Disconnected feelings of anger and guilt swept through me, fighting to be felt beneath the haze of pain and fatigue. I had to help...

Rachel! Xena! Get your-- Marco cursed weakly at me. Save Tobias!

Tobias. Tobias... 

Everything stopped. That second stretched on until I felt outside of Time itself. How? I don't know. But I saw myself standing before Tobias, both of us human, me looking into his deep brown eyes. He was squinting a little bit, like he always does up close. But the dreaminess of his eyes, the hope and beauty and love I always see there...they were there, for me. 

I took a deep breath. Again, I recalled Taylor beating Tobias and dragging him out. Rage filled me, clearing out the fog, collapsing the illusion. 

I was moving again.

I was massive. 

And I was pissed.

ROARrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr! 

Everyone halted in their tracks.

GO XENA!

I headed for the door, not even feeling the movement of my body. 

I. was. rage.

****

Chapter Nineteen

Ahhh! Tobias cried.

"You little..." Taylor shrieked. I saw her, reaching over the edge of the balcony. Panic. Where was Tobias? I couldn't see... There! He was hanging on somehow! 

The rage in me solidified, roared out of me into the empty space. 

Taylor flinched and started to turn, but I was already there. I tossed her out of the way. Later. Down below was Tobias, still clinging for his life. I reached down. Gripped him as gently as I could with my bloody paws. Brought him over the side. He was already morphing, so I set him down. And then...I turned back to her. 

Hatred burned a path from my heart to my throat. A growl followed. She would die. 

I reached down and picked up this pile of human fear and brought it close to my face, my muzzle, my sharp teeth. And I bellowed. She cowered before me. She was nothing. She was dead already. 

Then my paws were around her neck, squeezing the air out. What? I was killing her as a human. This was Rachel, killing. Not the grizzly. Rachel! Using the grizzly's strength. Killing for Tobias, because he had been hurt--

"Help," Taylor whispered, her eyes wide with fear. "Someone help me!"

--and humiliated--

Rachel! No. Rachel, don't do it!

I shook him off. She dies, Tobias. For what she did to you, she dies. Enough with the human way. I pulled Taylor back and tensed, planning to break her against the rock.

No! Tobias yelled. Rachel. No.

What? I turned to Tobias and froze. An Andalite greeted my eyes...a body whole and complete and healthy. How could he want me to stop? After all she had done to him? But this was Tobias. I trusted him. I dropped the sub-visser. 

You know she should die, Tobias. I ventured as the human scrambled for the door.

She will, Tobias said, completely still. This is the Yeerk who lost a prisoner. Leave her to Visser Three.

I shook my head. Hatred still burned hot in my veins. It just wasn't enough. What she did to you...

Rachel. Be Rachel, not her.

I stared at him. His words struck me like a blow. I had just killed seven Hork-Bajir to get to him. To rescue him. Why was killing Taylor different? True, I had gotten through the last few hours by hating her, by planning revenge. And I hated her enough to want to end her life. But I could never _be_ her...do what she had done...to _anybody_. No matter how much I hated them. Never. All of this ran through my head in a second. 

I looked back up. Tobias looked so powerful in that morph, so natural. For the first time, I realized that he was out of the cage, safe, away from Taylor. Free. My heart swelled. I stepped closer and there, right there on the balcony above the Yeerk pool was the first ever, and maybe last ever, Andalite/grizzly bear hug. 

Ouch, Tobias said lightly as I grasped him a little too hard. 

I couldn't smile at him, but I tried.

Tobias, Rachel. Let's go. A bloodied tiger was peering at us from out of the door. We pulled away and moved for the door. Guys, Tobias is okay. Jake went on. We're moving out! Ax, help Marco.

I shook my head and shifted back into warrior mode. What was I thinking, hugging my boyfriend in the middle of a war zone? I was losing it. We ran quickly through the room, avoiding the biggest pieces of glass. Dead Hork-Bajir littered the room. Marco was up, leaning heavily on Ax as they moved toward the door. Cassie looked fine, but she was sticking to Jake like glue. He was missing an ear, and had as many bloody slashes as he did stripes. How was he even staying with us? 

As for me, I was moving, so I was fine. Pain? Yeah. But we had to get Tobias out of here. That was all that mattered.

Erek has a hologram set up down the left-hand corridor. It makes a complete circle back to the entrance we came through, which is the nearest entrance to the woods. He can cover us until we get there. In order not to set off the biofilter alarms, Rachel, you'll have to disable them.

You mean the easy way?

Right. 

Gotcha.' I'd ram a fist through the sensor panel inside and deactivate the thing. Marco was probably too out of it to do it. We kept moving, leaving bloody prints that I was glad Erek would cover for a while.

Alright, we are now in the hologram. Tobias, you alright?

I'm not the one you need to worry about. Marco looks pretty bad.

Prince Jake, Marco remains coherent. He should be able to demorph as soon as we are clear.

Good. 

Jake didn't ask Tobias again. I could hear him galloping behind me, and I was charged up just to have him there. As soon as I could get free, we'd go flying. I should never have pushed him at the dance. I didn't care now what morph he was in, I was just glad to have him back. 

Remember that, Rachel. It's his life. Not yours_. _

So I know the hallway looks empty to anyone glancing down it, Cassie ventured, But what if they walk through it?

As long as we keep out of their way, they'll just wonder where all the noise is coming from. Tobias, soften that gallop if you can.

Sorry. I'm a bit new at this.

Tobias, it is easier to move quietly if you do not lift your hooves so high off the ground.

Sorry. Why do I keep doing that?

It is the natural instinct of the Andalite to lift his head and hooves high. We are a proud race.

Though at this point, we'd settle for one that was just quiet. Marco gasped out.

Jake chuckled. Cassie giggled. I smiled inwardly. All together again. If we could just get to a morphing spot, maybe things would be okay after all.

****

Chapter Twenty

We got out with little trouble. I pounded the sensor, we went through the door and one of Erek's friends set up a hologram to cover us in the forest. One or two Controllers followed us out after the biofilter "malfunctioned", but of course, they could see nothing.

We hauled rump. We ran on as fast as we could, deep into the forest. Just as we made it to a wide clearing, Marco collapsed. Jake knelt beside him, coaching him through his morph. I watched long enough to make sure there were changes going on. Then I turned to Tobias. He was standing just a little inside the clearing, his almond-shaped eyes wide and unfocused. He was completely still. An Andalite statue.

I started to demorph. I wanted to deal with him as Rachel. My fur tinged pink at the edges, then retracted into soft human skin. My muzzle shrank and my eyes collapsed back into a straight line. My eyesight sharpened; my hearing dimmed. The sense of smell I'd had was all but gone. 

Eventually, I was a still huge, grizzly-sized Rachel. I waited, but Marco didn't say a word. I finished the morph, looked over to see him fully human now, sitting on the ground. He looked wiped out. Jake was already fully himself again, talking quietly to Marco. Marco nodded and Jake stood. 

Cassie was herself. Ax was across the clearing watching Tobias like...well, like a hawk. Tobias was frozen as before, but I thought I saw fear flicker in his eyes. He was somewhere else in his mind.

Jake walked over to me. "Maybe you should go talk to him."

Of course I should. But I didn't want to startle him. He hated that. And now...

"I...I'm not good at that sort of thing." I looked over to Cassie. Jake looked over at Cassie. Cassie stared back at us. Then she took a deep breath and gentled herself. I can't think of another word for it. It's what she does when she talks to frightened animals. Her voice is low and soothing and she moves slowly. She always manages to make them feel safe. I knew she wasn't trying to treat Tobias like an animal. She was just trying to bring him out of wherever he was without scaring him. 

"Tobias," she said in a low voice, walking toward him. He didn't respond. "Tobias, are you okay?" Nothing. She took another step closer and looked up into his face, almost a foot above her. He was staring at the forest. She reached out a hand, then hesitated. "He's trembling," she whispered. Over by the forest, Ax shifted noisily on his hooves. 

Louder, Cassie said, "Tobias, it's okay. You're safe now." He still didn't respond. The horror growing on his face was alarming. What was he thinking about?

"Tobias?" I called to him, moving closer. "It's okay." He was breathing shallowly. Tears stood in his eyes.

"Tobias..."

Cassie reached out to touch his arm gently...

His reaction was instantaneous. 

No! He jerked away, scrambling back on four hooves, weak Andalite arms held out in self-defense. He stopped and looked blankly at us, then at the clearing around him. Slowly he dropped his arms. Tears fell out of his eyes like rainwater. 

"It's okay," I whispered, stepping up beside Cassie. But he was demorphing, shrinking, going hawk. I bit my bottom lip. "That's okay. It makes you feel better." Cassie and I moved back as his feathers emerged shiny and tinted their deep, dark brown. His beak was whole and wickedly curved again. He stretched out wings that were four feet wide and thick and strong. 

"Tobias--"

He flapped hard, then harder, skimming forward along the ground until he gained enough momentum to propel him into the nighttime air. 

"Tobias!"

I wiped away wetness from my cheeks. I just wanted to hold him, whatever stupid morph he was in. Why wouldn't he just let me hold him? Oh, it was useless to go after him. He was impossible to find if he wanted to stay hidden. 

I glanced over at Ax and was a little angry to see him staring off into the woods so woodenly. I'm sure he was thinking something about true warriors not crying. I wanted to blast him for it. But I didn't. I didn't feel like talking. No one did for a while.

Marco was the first to speak. He was beside Jake, putting a hand on his shoulder. "You got him out, man, Good job."

"Yeah, I got him out. About three hours too late. Did you see him? Did you see him?" Jake's voice grew harsher until it was only a whisper. He bent over, leaning his hands on his knees.

"C'mon, he's bird-boy. He's tough. He'll be fine."

Jake shook his head and stood. Then he walked over to edge of the woods and planted his feet. He looked up at the sky, his lips moving like he was talking to himself. Jake has always felt a need to protect Tobias. More than the others. Ever since he became a nothlit. Tobias told me that Jake cried when he found out. 

I felt a hand on my back and Cassie looked up at me worriedly. I couldn't say anything. A wave of exhaustion had just hit. And I sat. Right there on the dirt. Ants could have made a mound over me. Hork-Bajir could have stampeded me. I wasn't thinking...anything. Overload.

Some minutes later, Jake turned around to face the rest of us. "Okay," he said tightly. Everyone straightened up. Cassie had sat down beside me. This was what we had been waiting for, all of us, for some reason. Debriefing. "Tobias is out. But we have to help him, support him now."

"Okay, how about a bird of prey hotline? 1-800-EAT-MICE."

I rolled my eyes. Marco had recovered much too well. Jake went on.

"First, he doesn't need to be alone right now. Ax, stay with him. Get him to spend the night in the scoop if you can. He needs to feel safe."

"He doesn't need a babysitter, Jake. He's fine." I said defensively.

"I'm not saying anything about Tobias except that what he's been through is extreme. Anyone would need help with this one. Put yourself in his shoes." 

"No, thanks," Marco muttered.

"Tomorrow, we need to do something normal together, to keep his mind from replaying this crap over and over again. Ax, see if you can get him to the beach at around nine. We'll all try to be there. Right?" Everyone nodded. "Second, we don't need to bring this up, the torture or the rescue. If he wants to talk, let him. It's good for him. But we don't unload on him about any of it." Marco was shaking his head like he disagreed. "And, to put a fine point on it, he never knows what we heard or how much we heard." Jake made eye contact with each one of us. 

I hadn't even thought about it. But I agreed. 

In a few minutes, we broke up, each to go to our respective homes or the home of the person we were supposed to be spending the night with. I went home. I had to be with my Dad in the morning. 

A shopping trip for two.

That would be ending as close to nine o'clock as I could make it.

****

Chapter Twenty-One

Okay. Nine-forty-five. Not bad.

Mall opened at 9:00; we shopped; we ate; we were out of there in forty-five minutes. My Dad was stunned. He didn't even have time to flirt with anyone or make sarcastic comments about my mom. Okay, yeah, he made a few comments about me being so driven, but I convinced him that I took shopping seriously. No time for fluff. 

And then I did my beach bunny routine. You know, "catch a few rays to keep my tan...blah, blah, blah." He bought it. He tried to come with me, but I said no. I think he wanted to spend time with Sara and Jordan alone, anyway. So it worked out.

He dropped me off around ten o'clock, waving out of the car window. I started walking toward the dunes. It was a beautiful day, warm and windy. Perfect for flying. Yeah. Tobias would like that. 

Tobias...

My heart squeezed in my chest painfully. Taylor had been so close to killing him...so determined to do it. I stopped walking. 

How many times had Tobias almost died in this war? I couldn't even remember. As a hawk, he was so small, so vulnerable. It was going to happen again. 

I huffed out a breath loudly. 

Not if he would just go human! Why couldn't he see that? Go human, get out of the war and the constant danger. Did he think he'd lose me? No! I'd never let that happen. We'd find someplace for him to live...with a guardian. Erek King's Dad. He wouldn't have to go back to his alcoholic uncle, or his lousy aunt. It was so easy...

No. I stamped my foot angrily, knowing it wasn't that simple for him. It would never be that simple.

Deep breath. 

Tobias was Tobias. He wasn't like anyone else. He was a boy in the body of a hawk. And now he had become a warrior, in that body. I couldn't ask him to leave it just for me. No matter how much I wanted things to be normal. 

And no matter how much I feared losing him. 

Great.

So, now-- two things to remember: Don't ask about what they did to him. Don't ask him to go human. 

Just ask him to fly.

I smiled and started forward again, pushing my way over the dunes. The water was clear and sparkling today, perfect. I turned toward the pier, knowing that Jake would probably gravitate that way because it was far enough away from the main beach. The sand gave way under my feet, warm and crumbly and blindingly white. Something caught my eye and I looked up to see Tobias, in human morph, running toward me, full-out. I smiled, and instantly choked up. He slowed as he came near, the sun glinting brightly in his hair. His face was tense, his eyes full of emotion. He crossed the space between us in a heartbeat, his arms around me, his face buried in my hair. I clutched at him, suddenly desperate, a lump in my throat keeping me from talking. Finally I managed a word.

"Bad." Half-question, half-comment. 

"Yeah," he whispered. "Real bad. I came close to, you know. Awfully close. I was so...I mean, I didn't..." A flicker of rage surfaced. I closed my eyes. Forced myself to relax. "I lost myself. Didn't know who I was. Not sure I do now."

"Tobias," I said quietly. "I know who you are." 

He didn't move. He didn't say anything. But he was feeling it, I knew. He was feeling what I was feeling, that we'd be okay as long as we had each other. Yes, he would wonder who he was and he'd fight to be everything he wanted to be. Just because he was Tobias. But I'd be here and I'd understand and I'd never give up on him because... well, because I'm Rachel.

"Hey, it's nice and warm. Bet there are some killer thermals."

I heard him smile. "Let's fly."

"Yeah." I pulled back and looked into his eyes. Always deep pools of thought, right now, they were still haunted. "Right after I do this." 

I kissed him. 

And for a while, it all disappeared. The war, the pain, the hatred. Everything was softness and gentleness and love. And hope. I pulled back and saw total peace on his face, a small smile on his lips. Much better. 

"Okay, now let's fly," I said and laughed wildly, energized by my effect on Tobias. I took his hand and pulled him over to the pier, waving at the others briefly. They looked busy "playing", but I knew they'd be relieved to see us fly off. They needed to relax, too.

And fly we did. Over the beach, over the hills, back over the city. Over everything. 

Tobias and Rachel. 

A red-tailed hawk and a bald eagle. 

A bird-watcher's dream come true. 

And maybe...mine, too. 


End file.
